Does your teen have the back to school blues? Here is your survival guide!

 

I just love this time of year, don’t you? The temperature starts to (slowly) drop, we start gearing up for the holidays, and all my favorite TV shows come back on the air! What also happens, is that the kiddos go back to school! And for many teens and parents, this can be a tough transition.

 

I see many teens in my office who are struggling with the idea of starting a new school year, meeting new teachers and peers, and keeping up with the social and academic demands. Pair this with the already difficult time of adolescence and it becomes a perfect storm of stress, sassiness, and sometimes a pinch of conflict.

 

What stresses the student?

For a teenager, starting a new school year can can make him/her very anxious. It is not uncommon for high school student to feel:

• lost and confused
• missing old classes and old friends
• lonely and unhappy (until new friends are made)
• worried that he/she will not be able to cope with the new demands
• worried that he/she will not “fit in”
• worried that he/she will not live up to parental expectations

How can parents help?

Parents can be stressed too! Especially after a long work day, when you come home to your teenager who has a  lot of homework, stress, and attitude!  However, parents can help ease their teen’s transition pains (and their own) by being open and understanding. Often, sharing parental experiences will help. Here are some other tips/information that parents can use to help their teenager adjust to the new school year:

• Reassure your teenager that it is normal to feel this way in the beginning of a school year, and that most others will be feeling the same way.
• Give your teenager as much control as you can (within sensible limits) over things like wardrobe so he/she feels that he/she “fits in”.
• Reassure your teen that he/she already knows how to make friends because of the friendships they have made in the past.
• Help your teenager keep in touch with old friends and be welcoming to new friends. Make it easy for your teen to entertain at home. Make your home the safe place teens want to be. Be available to discreetly supervise and encourage your teen to have friends over for dinner or to study and meet their parents.
• Help your teenager set up a homework routine that helps him/her to manage homework and still have time for relaxation and friends.
• Be a good and supportive listener but try not to give advice too quickly. Problems that young people can solve for themselves help to build confidence.
• Encourage your teenager to join school activities, which is a great way to make new friends.
• Be patient with your “more that usual” irritable teenager for the first few weeks.
• Get involved in the PTA or other parent organizations and go to school functions, if you are able.
• Get to know the resources at your teen’s school (counselors, coaches, teachers, deans, etc.). Maybe you can send a nice card or letter introducing yourself. You never know when these folks may come in handy. -It takes a village, right?
• AND MOST IMPORTANTLY: Do not forget that despite their age, teenagers still need parental affection, love and support.

Signs of stress

Your teenager may show his/her stress in the following ways:

• being irritable and short tempered
• being disagreeable or not wanting to talk
• changing behavior such as silliness or rebelling
• stomach pains, head aches, other physical symptoms, or not wanting to go to school.

 

If these symptoms persist beyond the first few weeks of school, parents should speak to their school and try to address the source of the stress, if possible.

 

If you feel you or your child may need more support, please don’t hesitate to reach out to Strive! We can help implement some goals to get your kiddo (and you) back on the right track and reaching success!